How do I become a Sexy Decoy for the Maury show?

blein:

sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST 

Haha I hope this is a true story.

jake: did you try putting on one song at a time?

me: yeah but i dont wanna do that

me: i kinda wanna wait it out to see if itll just work…

me: but im kinda really impatient 

jake. you know what they say… patients… is a, uh….. uh bullshit

jake: yeah you thought you were gonna hear virtue hu?